Now I'm a believer

Just when you think the one you love doesn't care about you, they do the smallest thing but it warms your heart like never before. For the first time in months my bf and I have been completely in sync. We had our ups and downs but we made it.

Love is truly amazing.

God in heaven, please watch over her

My grandma had a heart attack on Sunday. Due to immature bastard family members, I was informed about my grandma a few hours ago. My grandma's health is very poor and she's been getting worse as time goes by. I spoke to her 2 weeks ago and she told me it gets harder for her to breathe as time passes. When my dad passed away we were worried about what kind of effect his death would have on her. My grandma had to hold in tears because it hurt her body physically to show emotion. I would give anything to see her right now, lack of money and family members are what's keeping me from flying to Texas to see her. I'm afraid she's going to pass without all of her family being with her.

Please say a prayer for my grandma, she's a very loving, gentle, sweet woman who doesn't deserve all this pain she's enduring.

A little something I wrote

On the hour, every hour

Like clockwork you would awake

Quiet cries for help stab my eardrums

A soft blanket of matting cradles my body as I lay on the floor

Violins soothe the air with veils of the sea

Visions of waves crashing against caves and teasing the sand fill my head

I catch a glimpse of you…you’re beautiful face with rosy cheeks will never be forgotten

The clock strikes twelve

Shrieks of pain cause panic and confusion

I clutch your hand and comfort you as much as I can

Your dark umber eyes pierce through my body as you try to speak

The room becomes silent as you look at me for the last time

One final deep breath escapes your body as you sink into the bed

Your hand slithers out of mine cuddling your body

Muffled screams rise around me

One…two…three…the heart never gives up

Magnets of energy pull me backwards as I grasp onto you

A sheet of ice covers your body while you seek peacefulness

Shadows of inhuman flesh lift you

Dressed in black with no where to go

Creaking wheels indent the carpet

My eyes roll upward only to find my life tucked into a coal bag

Anxiety congests my lungs while salty tears stream down my face

Life comes to a halt but never regains consciousness

My condolences.

Read this...

I'm currently reading this book and I must say it's teaching me how to make my friendships/relationships better. I definitely recommend this book, even if your relationships don't need help. This book will give you an understanding of why people behave childish and how to avoid loaded questions. Pick it up, you won't be disappointed.

Shitty drivers

Every time we're in the car, we almost wreck. I don't know why people think they can drive any way they want because of the car they own. Having a nice or "pimped out" car doesn't mean you're a good driver. If I were to have a video camera in my hand every time we left the house, more than half of the city's population wouldn't own a driver's license. It's frustrating because you can't enjoy being in the car. It doesn't matter how safe you are, this place is filled with idiots who don't belong behind the wheel. There should be a common sense test along with the written exam. I'm not saying I'm the best driver in the world because I'm not, the skills I lack don't affect anyone or are a danger to myself. My flaw in driving is parking, I can't park for shit. However, I do correct myself so I don't block people from getting into their cars when I'm next to them. This is something so many people don't do. Whatever happened to being courteous?

One of my biggest fears is the freeway. This is because people drive very fast and since the majority of them lack common sense, it scares the shit out of me. There you'll be, coasting on the freeway then BAM! Someone slams on the brakes even though there isn't a car in front of them. We change lanes to avoid having to brake every 10 seconds and then they speed up so we can't pass them. What the fuck is up with that? If you're not going to go faster then why keep people from passing you? Then you have the people who insist on driving right next to you because you're their "safety net". They don't realize that if the car in front of them wrecks or something happens, there's nowhere for them to go because they barricade themselves between cars. Driving isn't supposed to be stressful. People think way too much when they drive. If you let go of your grip on the wheel so your knuckles aren't white, sit back, and stop talking on the phone then you'll be ok. Cars aren't going to fly off the road, get a hold of yourselves! There are no words for the amount of frustration I have when I'm in a car. When is this going to end??? When will people open their eyes and see that accidents are caused by people not paying attention? You were given a handbook you had to study from before taking your written exam, maybe you should read it!

I thought high school ended 7 years ago?

I wiped my slate clean of bad friendships and now I can finally relax and move on with my life. I don't know why people have to stir up drama and why they thrive on it but to each his own.

I'm free.

Take it or leave it

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people question me about what I do for a living. I don't think the amount of money someone makes should be discussed between friends or family. I hate being compared to others. I've had a lot of retail jobs. So, what? I'm on my way to improving myself, instead of interrogating me, show some compassion. I understand that retail isn't a career job but they hire you with the quickness and when you're in desperate need of a job you can't really turn it down.

I hate that people judge others on how much money they make. My family has never been dirt poor but we weren't well off. Does that make me a bad person? A lot of people believe money will bring you happiness, not true. Money won't comfort you when you're down, talk your problems out with you, make love to you, confide in you....

Money is the route of all evil. Go ahead and say I support that statement because I don't have any but think what you want. In the end, you'll be left with a shit load of loneliness and I will be rich on love.

Um, what?

Darkness faded...an empty hallway in a huge house became visible. As I rubbed my eyes with hopes of being able to see clearly, I found myself in the living room of a two-story house. The entire house had wooden floors and white walls with very little light. I walked down a hallway intrigued to find out where I was when I overheard a couple arguing about who was going to feed their child. The screams were coming from upstairs but the woman appeared behind me with a bottle for her baby. She rushed past me and made her way up the stairs in a hurry. I headed towards the staircase as I took another look around to see where I was. I felt at home and I knew where everything was but I had never seen this house before. My body led me upstairs and to the last bedroom on the right. The room was the size of three bedrooms put together and decorated with modern furniture. On the bed sat my current boyfriend who had the face of my ex. I laid down on the bed and he got on top of me and started grinding his body against mine. A million forces of energy flowed through my body as he moved in deeper. I couldn't handle the feeling anymore and I needed him inside me that second. He pulled away and shot cupfuls of cum into my mouth, the combination of taste and texture made me gag. Salt and mint scraped my taste buds when my stomach started to contract as all the cum came back out of my mouth. My body was moving around as if there was a tsunami in my stomach. I began to heave as I held on to a chair hoping it would keep me stable. I could feel warm liquids building in the back of my throat when all of a sudden a peach colored sea shell came out of my mouth. I examined the sea shell and realized it was an ash tray. I handed it to my boyfriend and woke up hunched over on my bed trying to keep myself from puking up my insides.

Crazy shit.